Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!