Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Rosé all day."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Sip happens."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Time to wine down."
"Here for the right riesling."
"Read between the wines."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"You had me at merlot."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Partners in wine."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
You’re wine in a million.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Great minds drink alike."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"I make pour decisions."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"On cloud wine."
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"You're the wine that I want."
"Be kind, re-wine."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"Adulting makes me wine."
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!