I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!