What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"You had me at merlot."
"Rosé all day."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Back that glass up."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Love the wine you're with."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
"You can't sip with us."
"I need to re-wine my life."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"Here for the right riesling."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Read between the wines."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"Say you'll be wine."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
"Time to wine down."
"You're the wine that I want."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"