What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.