A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque