People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.