What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in