A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business