What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it