Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.