I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.