My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit