Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.